Pensieve
by SmokeDreams
Summary: Someone is given a glimpse back in time to be taught a lesson through memories. Not DH compliant I am keeping my Dumbledore! Rated M for maturity. Femmeslash HG/MM don't like? Don't read. -.-
1. The First Memory

Pensieve

_A Granger Memory_

Hermione close to ran down the long corridors of the school in which she had lived for nearly seven years now. It was a difficult time in the lives of Hogwarts staff and students, those in the wizarding community were on top alert. With the war swiftly approaching, Hermione knew that next year she wouldn't be returning to this large block of stone sitting nestled between the mountains. The thought nearly killed the girl.

_Horcruxes._ Dumbledore had said. Find them, distroy them and distroy Voldemort. The game sounded quite simple to the boys, but she knew the true gravity of the situation. Horcruxes once found were nearly impossible to figure out. To destroy... would be hell.

Hermione was quickly becoming dizzy with her pace. When she reached the familiar portrait of Godric Gryffindor he was forced to cry out _You Girl! No running in the halls! _She almost jumped out of her skin.

"I'm sorry Godric, I'll slow down," he seemed quite pleased with her response as she neared him. "Ginger Newt."

As he swung open she looked both ways, becoming accustomed to making sure she was alone before entering the older womans rooms. They had formed quite the bond over the passed few years. Each new year bringing them a little bit closer. Though Minerva still kept her conscous professional front in check. It wasn't exactly unusual for students to befriend professors and vise virsa, yet the older scott woman did prefer her privacy.

"Professor..," Hermione called into the darkened rooms then heard a small stirring which she wandered toward. "Are you here?"

It was at the moment that Minerva flew into her main room wand at the ready causing Hermione to jump and let out a small scream of surprise. Minerva clutched her chest and steadied her breathing.

"For Merlin's sake Miss. Granger you scared the living daylights out of me!" The older woman exclaimed. Hermione was too frantic to care about the little heart attack she just gave her most adored mentor.

"I need to talk to you," Hermione walked briskly into the rooms which had a rich aroma of tea leaves and ginger. "I can't leave Hogwarts without letting you know..."

Minerva quickly deposited her wand back into her robes and moved with her young pupil to the plush couch which sat before her now empty fireplace.

"Hermione what has brought you to this state," Minerva asked worriedly fearing that this young girl was losing her mind under the intense pressure. It took a mere moment to register that the instant Minerva had sat and inclined toward her student that her hands had been caught within the long tender fingers of the brunette beside her. The hazel eyed woman wasn't removing her contact. "Miss Granger..."

"Minerva I've been dying inside knowing that I'm leaving, at first I thought it was because of my grades all my work wasted, I tried so hard..." She sensed that the older woman was about to say something so she quickly continued, grasping on to her mentors hands when she felt that they were slowly being retracted back to their owner. "But I realized that it wasn't the pain of leaving Hogwarts that's be tearing me apart... I've worked for so long for your attention and you gave it to me, your friendship and trust.. I hadn't realized that all of it was for you."

Minerva sat motionless. Her mouth became dry, her thought's had stopped since Hermione had begun her heartfelt proclaimation. The brunette took the silence as acceptance and continued with sudden ease.

"I love you."

Hermoine's hazel eyes were tender as she looked upon the auborn haired woman. Fear and worry slowly crept back into her psyche when she received no reply. They sat like this, in awkward silence, for what seemed like ages before Minerva stood swiftly and opened the door to her rooms. Hermione felt like a bucket of ice water was thrown in her face, it cascaded down her back leaving her cold and numb. She knew the look in Minerva's eyes, that silent lividness.

"Miss Granger, I must ask you to leave my rooms, I bid you well on your mission and hope you find your way home safely," Hermione stood up and walked quickly over to her professor, imploring with her gaze but was halted when she began to speak by the thick Scottish anger in the elder womans voice. "We all have some feeling towards our girlfriends Hermione.. It does not mean we act upon them."

There it was. The rejection that caught Hermione by surprise. Her spine crackled and her brain blew up like a firework.

The night she left Minerva in her rooms, she was changed. She felt like a shell.

Minerva stood behind the door for what seemed an eternity, tears rushing down her cheeks in two streams.

"For the best..." She whispered to herself... but was it truly?


	2. A Memory from Minerva labeled His Idiocy

Pensieve

_From the memories of Minerva "His Idiocy"_

The day the trio left she had watched from Dumbledore's tower. The twinkle in his eye had vanished as he looked out upon the three young adults venturing toward certain difficulty and possibly even death. Minerva felt a pain in her chest so severe she almost felt faint.

"My dear friend, those children hold our lives in their hands." His voice was barely above a whisper. The words sounded like gravel in his throat.

"Albus there is a matter that has been weighing down my conscience," The older man looked whithered but nodded for her to go on. "Hermione came to me the other afternoon... She announced her love for me."

Slowly a small light began to burn within Albus's blue orbs. Finally some good news reached him. He laid his hand upon his dearest friends shoulder.

"That's wonderful..."

"I rejected her inclination." Minerva stated blatently. How could he think she would do anything but? It was inappropriate and against Hogwarts rules... immoral. Albus's expression faltered.

"Minerva why would you do such a thing," He began softly. "That young woman has such a good heart, how could you not have seen it?"

She looked at him as if he had grown a second head. _Albus.. have you finally lost your mind? _She questioned deep in the back of her mind. But his expression turned indignant. It was a shock even to think he could wear such a look. Only in the presence of close friends.

"I must tell you that your decision will haunt you my dear friend," The silver haired wizard watched Minerva's anger bubble beneath her hardened gaze. "I will say nothing more on the matter."

She left his quarters without saying another word.

That night as she lay in bed her mind wandered off to the girl who she hoped was safe. Even if their friendship now looked impossible, the care she felt toward the raven haired girl still embedded itself somehow within her. Yet still she thought of how that beautiful creature could possibly even imagine holding such feeling. _If she even truly does. _Minerva thought as she drifted off to an uneasy slumber.


	3. A Hermione Memory

Pensieve

_From Hermione's Memory_

They had been walking for quite some time, knowing that they were finally very close to a Horcrux was both satisfying and terrifying. Near four weeks, close to a month they had been dodging death eaters and hiding within the countryside. It was daunting with all that they carried. Even though most of it was shrunken.

"Come on Harry," Ron began to blither. "Can't we just sit for a minute?" The constant whining was beginning to grind on Hermione's nerve. She walked on with a bitter expression. Harry just simply shook his head.

It seemed for the most part that the boys had been trying so desperately for Hermione to return to her old state. Harry often looked as though he just wanted to hug her. Sure it was because of this mission, because of him that she had to be present which brought her to the current mood she was in. Little did he know. Suddenly and without warning a long blue flame like ribbon passed in front of them. The three stood shocked.

"Death eaters..." Hermione's raspy voice stated. The three looked for cover but it had been to late... the black masses in the sky were slowly descending in their very direction.

"What are we going to do Harry?" Ron yelped as he frantically looked about the area. The dark haired boy looked to Hermione who was instantly waving her wand around mumbling incantations as she threw the bag off her back at the boys.

"Hermione what are..."

"Go, apparate right now, I can't keep this shield charm up forever you know." The raven haired girl said through gritted teeth.. not many people realized that it takes a lot of concentration to speak when shielding. It's like trying to talk with a wad of gum in your mouth. She watched Harry shake his head slowly while Ron just gave him a dumb look not understanding.

"Not without you.." Harry said as the deatheaters drew ever so near, Hermione could already make out masks and wands.

"Take Ron, go.. don't make me do it for you." Before she had even finished growling out her reply Harry grabbed onto Ron and they disappeared from her sight. Instantly she relaxed her mumblings and let her wand hand fall to her side. The moment they had gone, there she was.. in a circle of deatheaters. She wondered if Snape was one of them but honestly she didn't care. A long black cloak stepped forward.

"Drop your wand." The man said shortly. Though he wore a grotesque mask Hermione remembered that voice. She even cursed it a good few times.. but it could be the voice of the man who might save her from this.

"Of course.. Mr Malfoy." She did as she was told, she dropped her wand.

Instantly the wand was snatched up in a gloved hand then her body was bound. It was a surprise how quickly they all had pounced upon her like hungry cats toying with the last mouse. When they lifted her off the ground and with them in the air, the pain was immesurable. Hermione thought... _This must be... what my soul feels like. _She would say that again. And again. And each time the pain grew over the next two months held captive by the deatheaters she would say it one more time while invisioning the soft emerald eyes of another woman.


	4. A Dark Memory from Minerva

Pensieve

_One of her darkest memories - Minerva _

It was nearly a week since the night Dumbledore awoke suddenly from a very restless sleep. In his very core he felt something amiss. Throughout the day following he remained distracted, almost confused. His staff began to worry about his condition.

"Albus please eat something." Minerva pleaded with the man who stood vigilant. He shook his head gravely.

"I will eat when Severus returns from his meeting with news." Albus reassurred her. It seemed that the meetings between Voldemort and his followers were becoming more and more frequent. It was good enough reason to be alarmed since it seemed so out in the open. He Who Must Not Be Named barely concealing his plans.

"Do you honestly have no idea what's causing this?" She asked while resting a gentle hand upon his shoulder.

"Minerva, all I know is if my feeling is correct, we have a very important person in very grave danger." Albus stated. Suddenly shadow landed with what almost sounded like a snap upon the stone floor. Snape removed his mask swiftly to reveal his pale face which shone whiter than usual.

"They have the girl, they have Granger." Snape's voice was raspy and frantic. Dumbledore stood quickly, the room instantly dropped in temperature as an almost dark presence loomed. Minerva's eyes were wide as saucers. She grasped the front of Severus's robes hysterically.

"You must go back! You must save her!" The woman screamed while pushing the younger man out onto the balcony, willing him to fly into the night to gather Hermione. Thoughts of what those vile people were doing.. the acts they could be committing upon her.

"Minerva there's nothing I can do." His voice cracked, grabbing her hands which had starting beating him in the chest. Albus had long since fled his offices, to the Ministry, trusting Severus with his green eyed collegue.

"There must be a way, you are one of them..."

"Minerva.. There is nothing I can do." He stated his eyes piercing into her tear filled orbs. She collapsed to the floor clutching on to whatever part of the dark haired man she could feel. He joined her, rocking her back and forth. He whispered into her ear confirmation that he would retrieve her. He would bring her back. All Minerva could do was weep in his arms, helpless, and remembering the flashes of that youthful face.

"They know who she is Severus," Minerva sputtered exhaustedly once her tears had subsided some. "They'll kill her." Severus shook his head.

"I will find her."

Two months Minerva waited, she could barely find the will to crawl out of her bed each morning. In part, she felt to blame and yet she didn't know why. _She would have had to leave even if I had told her... Even if things were different.. this was their mission, but why do I feel so ashamed?"_


	5. Hermione Recalls A Point In Time

Pensieve

Hermione recalls her Life and Death to the special pensieve viewer.

"_Well it's interesting you should ask and now that you are old enough I feel much more comfortable with talking to you about that... period of my life. But you do have to understand that I was a little older than you at this time, my emotions were high.. I was heartbroken in the worst way.. When Min had refused me something had snapped inside. I was like a person with out a stitch of humanity left in them. Nothing and no one will ever truly understand unless they have been truly heartbroken... what heartbroken feels like my dear. Believe me... now you may watch the memory of how I came into passing. I'll answer your questions later."_

Herione's eyes were dried shut, eyelashes caked with the salt of dry tears. Hours upon hours of screaming, crying, yelling for mercy had left her throat dry and sore barely able to make a sound. She felt bruised inside and out like they had beaten her so harshly that no part of her would be unscarred. But above all she was peaceful. Peaceful lying on the cold stone floor so dirty she believed it would never be scrubbed clean. Not with spell nor manpower. Slick with blood, sweat and other bodily fluids yet she didn't flinch in disgust... she just lay on the coldness, adjusting every once in a few moments silently and relaxed.

Bones that were broken were healing, cuts and scrapes being invisibly sewn back up into perfect skin. Bruises remained. Two months of bruises since day number one. Not that the brunette would realize this since it felt much longer. For days she had passed out, only being kept alive by a few spells a week to fill her stomach with nourishment and yet she never touched food. Water would be splashed upon her to weigh down the stench of her body. They would insult her. And she heard them coming. The door swung open.

"Hello little scum," A deatheater had welcomed her, drawing nearer but she heard others. "Do you still wish.. little scum?" He took her by the rope of her tied arms and lifted her torso off the coldness then she felt the hurt again in tidal waves.

"Yes I still wish!" Hermione screamed from the top of her lungs, it come out restrained and deep.

"What do you wish for little scum!" The man yelled in her ear while dragging her body feet trailing behind to what she figured would be the center of the room filling with a small group of dark followers.

"Take my life! I give you my life! I wish you to kill me! Please kill me!" She yelled frantically, the feel of her joints being twisted and contorted almost broken again sending her into spasms of sobs and convulsions.

"Your life? What makes you think we want your disgusting mudblood life?" One deatheater, a different one said.. so close to her face she felt his breath.

"No I think it is time," The recognizable one had stated drearily. "She has been... entertaining."

"Let me keep her... she'll make a pretty pet..." The sick twisted voice of Bellatrix resounded in Hermione's head while she internally shook in fear. She wanted it to stop, the world to stop, she'd been begging for so long giving herself to them freely knowing they would end this pain. Not the bruises but the hole the dug deeper into the place where her heart had been. Those damned emerald eyes... she wanted them gone.

"When the Ministry comes looking to this place tomorrow... I want them to find the body of a girl witch who belonged to Harry Potter," The man replied dangerously calm. "I want to find that boy, that ginger boy, one by one Bella one by one."

"Fine. Kill the girl already."

She heard the shuffling of feet and the door closing but she sensed a presence in the room. It neared her, and she attempted to meet the face of her murderer feeling her eyes tear open. One look of gratitude is what the man in the mask recieved though remarkabley within the dark eyes she met she saw bright tears.

"I am so sorry Miss. Granger."

Then a sharp flash of green silenced her thoughts.


	6. A Memory Once Stolen By S Snape

Penseive

A Rather Interesting Night

When the owl had reached her it was nearing four in the early morning. Minerva had been urked with hearing the persistant tap-tap-tapping of a large beak upon her bedroom window, so she groggily went to inspect the creature. By the time she had skimmed the letter the woman had flung herself out the door conjuring her night time wear into her robes in mere seconds and when Albus met her in the Grand Hall he was clearly white with horror.

"He'll be here shortly, he's got the girl... she's in horrible condition." His voice quivered with worry. The old man looked near terrified, not often a condition he physically expressed as he paced back and forth folding his hands.

The stone walls looked menacing in the torch light while the sounds of roaring rain could be heard on the other side of the thick blackwood doors. Minerva couldn't find her voice. If it wasn't bad enough that so long had passed, the girl was in danger the entire time and she remained in the castle helpless. These thoughts twisted her stomach into a giant knot which is when the wide doors creaked open revealing Severus Snape soaked to the skin holding a thin pale figure to him.

"We need to take her to the nearest rooms." Severus yelled frantically while rushing passed the pair and down into the dungeons, skipping stairs two at a time. Albus raced beside him while Minerva ran behind. For a moment she was amazed just how fast the dark eyed man could sprint through the castle all the while harboring another person in his arms. Every thought vanished when he placed her limp blood soaked body on his very bed while Albus had already began performing healing charms and charms that could help with the further diagnoses of her condition..

"She's alive.." Severus whispered more so to himself than to anyone else though Minerva heard his voice ring in her ears. The last time they met flashed through her mind like lightning.

_ "Minerva I've been dying inside knowing that I'm leaving, at first I thought it was because of my grades all my work wasted, I tried so hard..." She sensed that the older woman was about to say something so she quickly continued, grasping on to her mentors hands when she felt that they were slowly being retracted back to their owner. "But I realized that it wasn't the pain of leaving Hogwarts that's be tearing me apart... I've worked for so long for your attention and you gave it to me, your friendship and trust.. I hadn't realized that all of it was for you."_

_Minerva sat motionless. Her mouth became dry, her thought's had stopped since Hermione had begun her heartfelt proclaimation. The brunette took the silence as acceptance and continued with sudden ease._

_ "I love you."_

_Hermoine's hazel eyes were tender as she looked upon the auborn haired woman._

When Severus came to look for her, after the long hours of work, she could barely look him in the eye. He touched her shoulder and she turned her facing away from him unable to endure the weight of his hand..

"Minverva... I'll never even attempt to understand your friendship with that girl but you should know she will be fine," His voice was as tender as he could possibly express but still to him it merely passed for dull. "I know you won't take my word for it but she will live a very fulfilling life because she's strong."

"She made it through these months I have no doubt she's strong," Minerva snorted through her tears. "But what will come next... she'll have to live with this and how do you expect that will be?" Severus shook his head ready to try and convince the older woman otherwise before she raised her hand in protest.

"I turned her away Severus." The older woman stated quietly. Snape's eyebrows slowly pursed together as he turned his gaze to the moulding stoney walls seemingly lost in thought.

"You turned her away?"

"She came to me.. she had to tell me something important," Minerva decided to refrain from admitting the exact reason to keep the matter mostly private. "And I couldn't take it, handle the information so I simply turned her away." The woman let a sigh escape her lips and she shook her head, tears falling more freely now. Severus folded his arms loosely across his chest and appraised the woman silently.

"I doub't she'll ever trust me again..." She whispered while dragging a hand over her upper lip, wiping at a few stray salty drops tickling her nose. The Potions Master simply nodded his head curtly then turned away. Minerva watched him with red rimmed eyes wondering after his quick as he began to close the door to his quarters his expression made it perfectly clear.

"You're probably right." The man stated with a curled lip before closing the door with a gentle thud leaving a cat to sit whiskers down-turned in the dank hall.

TBC..


	7. A Memory Of Hermione's Truth Revealed

Pensieve

_The watcher pulled her face from the Pensieve and looked blankly at Hermione. The older woman pulled another small bottle from her pocket and peered at it's contents sadly. _

_ "You know Min used to be infamous for her temper.. I think this was the first time I actually gave her a run for her money." Hermione spoke through a little smile while running her fingers through her silver laced brown locks. _

_ "I don't understand Grandma.." _

_ "You will understand Amelia.." She stated while pouring the silvery liquid into it's bed of marble and motioning for the young girl to duck foreward.._

The night was a long and drawn out occassion. Severus was unable to help himself these days, it seemed the more sleep he settled in the more vicious his dreams became so for quite some time he sat by the bed, watching the girl sleep. The swelling of her eyes and cheeks sufficiently went down over the course of a few hours. With a warming charm, he assumed, she was sleeping comfortably.

Three days passed. They seemed to bleed one into the other while the girl rested in his bed. Albus came every night followed by a silent Minerva who, since their small chat, didn't raise her line of vision to his. The little regret Severus had about that night had blossomed but being a proud man he wouldn't say a thing. They simply inspected her for any further injury, charming away any discomfort they thought of and left. Usually by this time it was nearing two in the morning; and on this night when all was quiet and the only sound heard was Snape shifting uncomfortably in his chair he forced himself still by a quiet murmer in the darkness.

"Where am I..." Her voice was low and gravely. The dark eyed man could barely make out the question. Hermione opened her eyes and looked through the black to see small glimmers of silver and green. She knew these rooms.

"You're in the dungeons." Severus replied dully. While hiding his concern he flicked his wand and a few small lamps around the room began to illuminate. He watched her eyes adjust but the air of confusion remained consistant behind the chocolate orbs.

"Why am I here," Hermione began as her eyes skimmed the room and landed on the Potions Professor. "I should be dead."

"I rescued you." He replied simply. Anger simmered gently under the skin of the young woman. Severus felt the change before he saw her rip the black douvet off of her body and climb from the bed. At first, it was almost like watching an infant mare, learning how to use it's new legs as she clutched at the bed half dragging herself upward though soon she became nearly unstoppable.

"Where the fuck is my wand Snape?" Hermione hissed throwing a glare in his direction. If someone had stupified him it would have explained his stillness. She closed her eyes and let the energy pool in her head making a clear picture until it vanished in seconds. The brunette nearly stumbled to his wardrobe and wrenched open the doors all the while a stunned Severus sat watching in the corner of the room.

"Miss. Granger your language befits that of a follower of the dark lord.. perhaps you spent far too much time in their presence." In mere seconds of speaking however Hermione was clothed appropriately and wicked in temper, pointing her weapon of choice at Snape's chest.

"You should have left me where you found me!" The girl yelled in fury, her eyes ablaze as she quitted his quarters and strode to the surface.

Hermione took her time ascending the stairs to the great hall. She knew this school back to front, front to back even though it was an upside down place.. the space itself was her home. _At least it used to be.. _She thought to herself. The place didn't change, it never changed and yet it was ever changing with it's portraits running to and from each other. It's corridors mixing, matching and mingling. And yet.. she knew exactly where to go... where she had been. The last place she wanted to be is where she stood with her wand raised.

"Grant me passage." The gargoyle looked down at her with a mocking expression before ruffling it's stone wing feathers. The sound was a kin to bricks being rubbed together; all in all quite irritating.

"That's no password..."

"Grant me passage or I will grind down every inch of you..," Hermione warned through gritted teeth. "When all there's left is a pile of sand where you now stand, I'll happily walk over your remains to my destination." The Gargoyle appraised her and for a moment she thought fear had sparked behind the stoney expression. He turned, wings raised, granting her an entrance to Dumbledore's study which she took with little hesitation after skimming the dimmly lit hall.

The room, his study, looked as she had left it. Little whizzy things still whizzing and floating around. Books as high as the eye could see clean and well kept. Not a speck of dust on the varnished tables. It looked like nothing had happened.

"Miss. Granger?" Minerva peered down at her with surprise lining her face as she stood at the top of the stairs behind the Headmaster's large oak desk. Momentarily Hermione lost herself once more in the presence of the woman. Her eyes were glossy with worry, her skin looked pale which oddly paired with her hair that was slightly disheveled and poking out of her bun. This appearance aged the woman greatly. Frankly Minerva looked like shit... if only she could care enough to ponder it more.

"I have come to see Dumbledore so if you could direct me to him I'd be.. grateful." The voice seemed foreign. Almost too low and a little too articulate. Minerva swept down the stairs fluidly until she was nearer to the girl who visibly tensed, fingers twisting tightly around her wand. Hermione looked as she always had even if a little thinner than before. But for some reason her eyes had lost their warmth, her face was white as snow. Minerva wondered breifly how one could look so strong.. and yet appear so delicate.

"You have no need for defense here Hermione you're safe now." The professor made an attempt to be tender, reaching out when close to rest a hand upon the girls shoulder perhaps to give her some grounding but she'd have none of it.

"I was safe where I was thank you," Hermione flinched from the hand and turned her back to the professor. "I'll return later when he is available."

"Hermione please.. What is this?" Minerva swept her hand in the air behind the young woman's back and the student watched as the door dissipated behind a long column of books. She turned on her heel to face the one who sealed off her exit, nostrals flaired and quite visibly angry.

"You have no right to hold me captive whether it's for a minute or a lifetime now return that door McGonnagall."

"Hermione.. have you lost all sense of authority? How dare you speak to me like this.." Hermione's wand shot a jet of yellow light in the older woman's direction which she waved by in suprise. Then another. And another. Before they knew it spells.. curses were being thrown around the office. Both women over taken by their own fury directing all their discomfort towards each other ripping the office to shreds. Since the women were almost equally skilled neither truly got harmed.. which couldn't be said for all of Albus's nick nacks. When both, teacher and student, where out of breath, stumbling, and trying to find comfort they finally quit the battle.

"You know every time I thought I was going to die.. I damned you," Hermione whispered as her wand lay at her feet forgotten and her forehead rested upon the cold leather spines of the books on the shelf she rest against. "Every time I closed my eyes I saw yours and all I wanted to do.. was escape." Minerva sat in what once resembled an ornate leather chair. She showed no care as it smouldered, only listened to the soft voice she used to remember as tears stung her eyes.

"They could have killed you.."

"Don't you realize.. that was the plan?"

TBC...


End file.
